Joy, Kindness, and Gratitude

I've been thinking a lot lately about what qualities I want to see more of in my life. These are elements, concepts and ideas I would like to see actualized every day, to the point that they are natural and accepted as expected. About a month ago I chose Joy, Kindness, and Gratitude as characteristics and actions I would like to experience more frequently every day in my life. I was pleasantly surprised to read this article on Huffington Post that listed these traits among those practiced by "Happy People". I know it sounds pretty obvious that joy and kindness lead to happiness but thinking about these things specifically and with intent definitely helps me experience them more fully.

Joy - I want to be a more joyful person. I'm working on taking note of the many moments during the day that something makes me feel happy. It's as simple as waking up to a furry puppy face on the side of my bed, delicious warm lattes in the morning, or as lovely as seeing my mom greeted warmly by a ton of people as we ate lunch together on her college campus. I want to find joy in the gorgeous sunset, the ripe tomatoes on the vine, and my husband letting me put my chilly toes under his leg to warm them up. Just noticing these little or large things make my heart feel just a little bigger and warmer. 

Kindness - I want to be a more considerate person, thinking of others before I act solely for myself. I want to notice others being kind to those around them; I think kindness is contagious and spreads easily. It's all too easy for me to plead tired, or busy, or unaware when it would benefit me equally to step outside of my own head and do something kind or to say something friendly to someone near me. I know this will help make me a better wife, friend, daughter, and coworker!

Gratitude - I feel so blessed in my life... but why is it so easy to focus on the negative? I want to be thankful for all of my blessings and all of my challenges, for they will help me grow. I want to find the positive in every moment and be grateful for each day. I do really believe what the quote says at the top... "When we notice our blessings and practice gratitude, our reasons to be grateful multiply."

I want these things in my life. I really want others to see these elements practiced daily in my life... I hope they spill into all areas of my life. Practice makes perfect, right?

Until then,

katykatxo

"She decided to start living the life she imagined. She believed she could, so she did. She replaced her fear of the unknown with curiosity. She looked around, and life was pretty amazing." Kobi Yamada

I think I remember having big hopes and exciting dreams. 

Everyone has dreams and plans and "what if"s, right?

That Attitude! That Hair!
This girl had dreams!! And super cool glasses!

Lately I'm having a very hard time remembering what my dreams and goals were. I feel stagnant. I don't think this is a new thing, a recent blank spot in my memory, or a sudden missing piece. I think my dreams and plans been slowly dissipating, scattering in fear, and going into hiding for years as I've trucked along in cruise control, taking the path of least resistance. Where did all the dreams go? A life without these dreams and plans and goals feels like a room without fresh air. Can you survive in that room? Sure, for awhile. Can you thrive? I don't think so.  I don't know what has changed recently, but right now this feels important, urgent, a critical exploration to discovering... something. It's time to do some soul searching.

I feel like I'm making steps in the right direction. I'm writing again and this has been an awesome start to my self exploration. I'm running a lot which helps keep my mind and body functioning on a happy, healthy plane. I'm in therapy with a really great Art Therapist who is helping me work through the questions and challenges. Being sober helps too. A lot of minutes and hours have been wasted in my life recently working my way through a bottle of wine on the couch every night. Ending up slightly sloshed every evening has a way of shutting down that inner voice challenging you to cultivate your dreams and reach for the stars... Can I do that whilst sitting on the couch with a glass of wine? No? Then no thank you and good night. Not to say that many a dream and plan and adventure haven't been thought up over hilarious and fun drinks with friends and family (Baywatch Gorillas anyone?), but unfortunately this hasn't been the norm lately.

I'm ready to come up with more brilliant ideas like this!!

Not having alcohol in my life has definitely challenged me to fill my time with other pursuits. Reading, crafting, running, spending time with James and friends all have helped round out the days with lots of love and positive thinking. 

Foxy Coffee Cozy Craft!

I'm craving the fullfillment of dreams and hopes and "what-if"s. I want to go out into this crazy awesome world without fear. I want to be curious. I want to explore what might be possible in all of my wildest imagination. It's a journey that I gave up on at some point and I'm fully ready to gather all my tools and set out again with joy and an adventurous spirit.

Until then,
katykatxo

Kate's Favorites*

(*Subject To Change)

Friday again!! And it really, truly, finally feels like fall! I LOVE fall, and not in just a "Pumpkin Spice Latte" kind of way... because yuck! not a fan! But I am a huge fan of the cool mornings, warm afternoons, boots, leggings, scarves!! And seriously, don't you want to hang out all night here with some friends this weekend??

I also really love that I don't have to schedule my runs around the daily temperature! I was happy to take my puppies on TWO runs yesterday, one at lunch and another with my momma after work! Both were gorgeous and much needed for everyone involved. It doesn't hurt that the perfect running temps are just in time to get my butt in gear for the Myrtle Beach Half Marathon I have in just 4 weeks! So here are some things that are getting me motivated for this awesome race vacation with my bestie Jes!

1.  Running makes me happy... running makes my dogs happy... happy dogs make me even more happy... me happy makes my husband happy!

2. A few songs on my new half marathon playlist...

    Daft Punk - "Get Lucky"

    Florida Georgia Line - "Cruise"

    Matt Nathanson - "Run"

3.  Everyone needs a super cute new race outfit!!

4.  My UP band by Jawbone - I try to get in 10,000+ steps a day... going for a run guarantees this will happen! It's my own little nerd reward when I plug in my band and see that I met my goal!

5. This shirt! Don't you think it will make running even better??

6. These faces... how can you resist taking them for a run?

Happy Friday Everyone!! Have a great weekend!

Until Then,

katykatxo

Kate's Favorites*

(*Subject To Change)

Happy Friday the 13th! What a fast week, eh? I passed the 25 day mark in my sober journey - that's 1/4 of the way there! 25% Done! Um, I can't think of any other way to say that mathematically!! I feel great this week, focused on new habits (Teatime anyone?) and I'm really enjoying a new found clarity in my thinking. James and I enjoyed fun date nights with Adi and Nella on Monday night, Jes and Luke on Tuesday night, and then Jose and Amy on Wednesday night... it makes me feel proud that I can be in a restaurant, say "no thanks" to my usual glass (or three!) of wine and walk away with my cheeks hurting from all the laughing. It feels like a huge step for me and I'm so glad to be on this journey.

So anyway, it's FRIDAY!! And on Fridays I present to you... 

Kate's Favorites* 

(*subject to change)

I hope to show you a few of my favorite things from the week... maybe a blog or two... or something I found on Pinterest... or just something super cool that I think you should see! So here are my first favorites!

1. "Dumb Blonde" - Love the look on this dog's face as she tries to catch the cheerio!

2. Tea Forte Brewing System -I've been drinking lot's and lot's of tea as a beverage replacement... It makes it feel like a special occasion using loose leaf tea and a fun mug!! My favorite Forte flavor is White Ginger Pear.

3. DIY Cloud Corkboard - this DIY project would be great for hanging jewelry too!

4. FoodGawker.com - This is my favorite recipe browsing site... takes you right to the blog for each recipe!

5. Broncos Gear - What? Broncos running shorts??? Get in my closet!! Then I can still support even if I'm running during a game!!

6. Isn't this such a good idea??

Hope your week has been great and that you have an awesome weekend!

Until Then,

Katykatxo

Seriously, I mostly do what I want.

I love reading blogs. The food blogs, the exercise blogs, the crafty blogs, the life story blogs… I love them all. I also love to write, or at least I used to, and I want to start writing again… so here’s my best effort at creating my own little blog space!

The idea to start this blog was born out of a personal decision to quit drinking for 100 days and some writing exercises I started with this choice. I didn't/don’t plan on this blog being about my sobriety or the reasons I've chosen to live 100 days sober, but I've always wanted to write a blog and I guess this is a pretty nifty place to address and discuss this decision.

So, the basics… I've decided to quit drinking for 100 days. I started August 18 and will hit 100 days on November 25. I’m doing this because I have a problem with my drinking. I’m not sure what that problem really is at this point, but it’s become big enough that it’s time to face it. I’m doing this on my own, under no duress or intervention, willingly, and excitedly open to the possibilities. And, one BIG thing to address right off the bat… I’m NOT PREGNANT!! The little belly I’m sporting these days? NOT a baby! Most likely this is a few million calories consumed from my favorite box(es) of wine, or possibly the tasty burrito I had for lunch. 

And listen, I know this is hard to talk about. I’m not sure if it’s harder for me to answer the “Pregnant?” question, or harder to see the clear, “Ahhh geez, why did I even ask? This is sooooo uncomfortable…” look on someone’s face when I respond with, “I have a drinking problem.” It’s a tough topic and it’s not a “normal” thing to throw out in a conversation. Trust me, I get it! But the truth is, I have a problem. I’m not ashamed of it and I really want to write about it, hopefully sharing a look into my struggle and opening the conversation with others completely without judgment.

Alcohol has given me a lot of “support” in my life. It relaxes me after a long, hard, stressful day at work. It rewards me after a long run or a hard ride, Yay Me! It comforts me in social settings… ok, let’s be honest, in my head it makes me the life of the frickin’ party! Alcohol has been an honored guest at some of my most important life events. Engaged… yep, had a mini bottle of wine in my hand as he put a ring on it. Married… yep, my gorgeous bridesmaids stole away a box of wine under my table, ensuring a never empty glass.

This drink did not leave my hand all night! But isn't my dress gorgeous!?

Birthday Parties… yes, every single one since age 19 (sorry, mom!). Graduation… yep. Christmas… yep. Oh wait, it’s Thursday… Heck yeah! Family… Oh yes, it’s there too. There at the most wonderful, long, candlelit family dinners, laughing, talking, storytelling, being together! Sitting on a patio drinking beers with my brothers in the afternoon – So, so great! Exploring new towns and new breweries with my husband – So many wonderful memories!

Good times in Pinedale, WY

I don’t regret a second of these memories, not one… each are a bright, beautiful piece of my life and I’m grateful for every single one. But that “support”? It’s become a crutch. An easy, false path to relaxation and stress relief. An easy, habitual reward for a job well done. And a haze over my honest personality. Alcohol has become my hiding place, silently holding me in a cloud of depression that I want no part of. It clouds my judgment and skews my perceptions. It’s been a dark place that I couldn't find myself in anymore. I need to find myself again.

I don't know if I was sad here... but it's sufficiently hazy... :)

Which leads me to this decision. I’m not ready to use the “A” word yet… but I’m willing to explore it, try it on for size and make sure I’m addressing this fully and wholly. I want to find my joy without the booze, find relaxation without the buzz and make my choices, big and small, without the cloud of Vino fogging my head. I want to dream big and crazy dreams for my life. I want to “un-pickle” my personality and find the great, funny, smart person I know I am without the drink in hand. I've chosen 100 days because it’s challenging and hard and important and worth not giving up on. When 100 days are done I don’t know what will happen. I’ll keep you posted though.

Until then,
katykatxo

I do what I want!